Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Bad Physics Jokes

Recently I posted a number of truly terrible physics jokes to Twitter, as one does. For your edification and bemusement, here they are:

  • If you accelerate toward the red light fast enough, the blue shift turns it green again.
  • Two people are walking up a frictionless hill...
    (that's it. That's the joke.)
  • Whenever a neutron asks the price of anything: "For you, no charge."
  • Whenever the proton is asked if they are sure: "I'm absolutely positive."
  • The electron isn't invited to the party in the nucleus. The other particles find it boorish, being so constantly negative all the time.
  • The Higgs Boson conveys the gravity of the situation to other particles.
  • Photons make light of EVERYTHING. They can be SO inappropriate sometimes.
  • You might assume that Gravitons would be extroverts attracted to large groups, but no. They're actually really, really shy.
  • Despite the occasional unverified sighting, experts agree that Phlogistons are the Bigfoot of the subatomic particle world.
  • Neutrinos are the tragic poets of the subatomic world. They yearn for interaction, but know that it can never be.
  • As a community, Protons realized that their diet and exercise habits needed to improve.
  • Other particles wish they could help the Pion, but don't know what to do. Even the smallest thing can make them fall to pieces.