Recently I posted a number of truly terrible physics jokes to Twitter, as one does. For your edification and bemusement, here they are:
- If you accelerate toward the red light fast enough, the blue shift turns it green again.
- Two people are walking up a frictionless hill...
(that's it. That's the joke.) - Whenever a neutron asks the price of anything: "For you, no charge."
- Whenever the proton is asked if they are sure: "I'm absolutely positive."
- The electron isn't invited to the party in the nucleus. The other particles find it boorish, being so constantly negative all the time.
- The Higgs Boson conveys the gravity of the situation to other particles.
- Photons make light of EVERYTHING. They can be SO inappropriate sometimes.
- You might assume that Gravitons would be extroverts attracted to large groups, but no. They're actually really, really shy.
- Despite the occasional unverified sighting, experts agree that Phlogistons are the Bigfoot of the subatomic particle world.
- Neutrinos are the tragic poets of the subatomic world. They yearn for interaction, but know that it can never be.
- As a community, Protons realized that their diet and exercise habits needed to improve.
- Other particles wish they could help the Pion, but don't know what to do. Even the smallest thing can make them fall to pieces.