Monday, October 19, 2009

Tweetravenous Solutions

Recently Rob Diana wrote a guest post at WorkAwesome, Balancing Work And Social Media Addiction. In it, he said:

"If your day job is sitting in a cube or corporate office somewhere, then you will need to limit your activity in some way. If you want to be like Robert Scoble or Louis Gray, you will have to give up some sleep to stay active on several sites."

Twitter Skin Patch We at Tweetravenous Solutions have another solution to offer, which allows our customers to handle a full day's work, a full day of social media, and still get a full night's sleep! We call it the Social Media Patch. Our patented algorithms will monitor your social media feeds, collating and condensing updates from those you follow and encoding them in a complex matrix of proteins, amino acids, and caffeine. Its all infused into an easy-to-apply skin patch which can be worn inconspicuously beneath clothing. Even better, its in Real Time! (note1)

Social Media Skin patches for twitter, friendfeed, and RSS.  

Never go without your twitter fix again!

Feed your friendfeed need!

Works with any RSS feed, too! (note2)

Wait, there's more! For the true Social Media Expert wanting to get an edge on the competition, we offer additional treatment options administered in our state-of-the-art facility!
Twitter IV drip

Coming soon: two way communication! Thats right, you'll be able to retweet or reply using only the power of your mind! (and bodily secretions) (note3)


Don't wait, call now!


note1: Real Time is defined as 48 hours, to allow for processing and express overnight delivery.

note2: pubsubhubbub and rssCloud support coming soon.

note3: Two way communication will incur additional cost, and add processing time. US Postal Service will not accept bodily secretions for delivery.


Author's note: I enjoyed Rob Diana's article, and recommend people to read it. When I saw "Social Media Addiction" in its title, the thought of a Nicotine patch came spontaneously to mind. It became a moral imperative to write this up.

Also: sadly, modern browsers no longer render the <blink> tag. Too bad, it would have been sweet.