We at Tweetravenous Solutions have another solution to offer, which allows our customers to handle a full day's work, a full day of social media, and still get a full night's sleep! We call it the Social Media Patch. Our patented algorithms will monitor your social media feeds, collating and condensing updates from those you follow and encoding them in a complex matrix of proteins, amino acids, and caffeine. Its all infused into an easy-to-apply skin patch which can be worn inconspicuously beneath clothing. Even better, its in Real Time! (note1)
|Wait, there's more! For the true Social Media Expert wanting to get an edge on the competition, we offer additional treatment options administered in our state-of-the-art facility!|
Coming soon: two way communication! Thats right, you'll be able to retweet or reply using only the power of your mind! (and bodily secretions) (note3)
note1: Real Time is defined as 48 hours, to allow for processing and express overnight delivery.
note2: pubsubhubbub and rssCloud support coming soon.
note3: Two way communication will incur additional cost, and add processing time. US Postal Service will not accept bodily secretions for delivery.
Author's note: I enjoyed Rob Diana's article, and recommend people to read it. When I saw "Social Media Addiction" in its title, the thought of a Nicotine patch came spontaneously to mind. It became a moral imperative to write this up.
Also: sadly, modern browsers no longer render the <blink> tag. Too bad, it would have been sweet.